tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-218811902011-04-21T13:02:15.140-07:00La FacultadThis is a coming of mind story.L. Indra Luserohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07391556574763846748noreply@blogger.comBlogger271100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21881190.post-1151912816796650132006-07-03T00:46:00.000-07:002006-07-03T00:46:56.816-07:00 Well, this is one of those things I cannot possibly capture in a journey entry – I saw the light. Or I got hit over the head with it…One of those. I just had a strong clear sense of how all of my values might align. I was at the MANA conference all weekend, and visited a law class while I was in Boulder. And learning law for midwives felt like the most right, clear thing I could possibly do. SoL. Indra Luserohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07391556574763846748noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21881190.post-1149738963669676442006-06-07T20:55:00.000-07:002006-06-07T20:56:03.680-07:00The other day I thought about drawing a picture of a scream and calling it journey entry 30. But it didn’t happen. Days are one thing after another and I don’t mind getting lost in loving the kids… But there’s also a lot of daily blah. And I’m trying to make each day a practice in humility, and patience and compassion to both myself and others. It’s an ongoing practice and practice is such an L. Indra Luserohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07391556574763846748noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21881190.post-1149374010610650752006-06-03T15:33:00.000-07:002006-06-03T15:33:30.633-07:00I’m going in several directions. Which mostly feels good. Actually I think it’s part of what is helping me feel a sense of manageable routine – and find a way to make it through the next several months. Busy, busy. On a couple notes though – I’m sad. I set myself up for this terrible experience – which would have been a personal triumph if it wasn’t a completely unnecessary trial. I did this L. Indra Luserohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07391556574763846748noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21881190.post-1148958541409485402006-05-29T20:03:00.000-07:002006-05-29T20:09:01.423-07:00Ugh! I just spent some time researching conferences to present at – that was one of my ongoing goals. But I find the work distasteful and tiring and overwhelming and discouraging. I just feel out of the loop – but at the same time, I feel like I don’t want to be in any of the loops I see. Those loops I do want to be in – I can’t seem to figure out how to get in…. And or – there’s nothing to get L. Indra Luserohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07391556574763846748noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21881190.post-1148539073662530462006-05-24T23:37:00.000-07:002006-05-24T23:37:53.670-07:00Phew! I have been all around. In transition – back to work after a great, great groove… After a great synthesizing piece of writing… after so much swirling and then… splat. Kind of a splat feeling now. but that’s okay. Out of the haze and confusion of reorientation is emerging the familiar light of growth and learning. It is everywhere. And the work that I have been doing on centering and L. Indra Luserohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07391556574763846748noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21881190.post-1148273274967426812006-05-21T21:47:00.000-07:002006-05-21T21:47:54.976-07:00Ugh. I am sitting here facing a wall. And I feel like everything I learn about education and leadership is irrelevant if I’m looking at this wall – which is this: we have a broken five year old boy for a neighbor. You can just feel it. He’s not okay. But we’ve had some great times, our kids and some of the other neighbor kids playing over here. And he’s that tough, energetic, kinetic kind of kid L. Indra Luserohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07391556574763846748noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21881190.post-1147842366735784732006-05-16T22:05:00.000-07:002006-05-16T22:06:06.750-07:00Does the caterpillar learn to become a butterfly? Can the caterpillar not learn to become a butterfly?In that period of cocooning, where the caterpillar returns to primordial ooze and reassembles itself into an entirely different shape out of entirely the same substance, what happens to the caterpillar’s soul?Do humans learn instead of transforming? Is knowledge our connection to primordial ooze?L. Indra Luserohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07391556574763846748noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21881190.post-1147149688746114132006-05-08T21:41:00.000-07:002006-05-08T21:41:28.756-07:00Sitting down to the computer this morning Thoreau came to me, words I haven’t read or thought about in over 15 years, “I went into the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.” The steady pace of his writing appealed to me, I could feel him L. Indra Luserohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07391556574763846748noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21881190.post-1146371308642414712006-04-29T21:28:00.000-07:002006-04-29T21:28:28.653-07:00!!#@$*&! I just spent some time on Guillermo Gomez-Peña’s latest website associated with his 501(c)3 La Pocha Nostra, pochanostra.com. I wanted to weep with joy. First of all the website is fantastic. I have been additionally aware of websites since learning how to build one the past couple of weeks. So many are so boring. Which is fine – there is a standard format which makes things easy to findL. Indra Luserohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07391556574763846748noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21881190.post-1145680544369735412006-04-21T21:35:00.000-07:002006-04-21T21:35:44.376-07:00I have just recently returned from a nice long family vacation driving and camping throughout southwest Colorado and a bit of Arizona and Utah. It was expansive and I hardly thought about this work at all! It was a much needed break. And part of what helped me not think about it was the existence of a plan – my plan allowed me the sense that things were taken care of and I didn’t HAVE to think L. Indra Luserohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07391556574763846748noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21881190.post-1145339775637855212006-04-17T22:54:00.000-07:002006-04-17T22:56:15.646-07:00I have been out of touch with my musical notation as I have been awaiting this day when I hoped to pull everything together and develop a five year plan. As usual – things seem to take WAY longer than I expect so, I haven’t gotten quite as much organized today as I would have hoped. Nonetheless the scope of what I have address is quite large, including developing my own canon of life experiences,L. Indra Luserohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07391556574763846748noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21881190.post-1144822403216754012006-04-11T23:12:00.000-07:002006-04-11T23:13:23.236-07:00I’m tired. Eliot wouldn’t go to sleep. We nursed for about an hour, ugh!! I think we were both having trouble shutting off our brains. And now I am back to work much later than expected, feeling tired and discouraged. It’s all too large. I worked intensively on addressing the question of what the equivalent of the 120 books, and a specialization of 100 years was for my PhD – what my comps list L. Indra Luserohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07391556574763846748noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21881190.post-1144394609054863242006-04-07T00:21:00.000-07:002006-04-07T00:23:29.076-07:00When in doubt, write about the journey. I am sitting here with maybe fifteen minutes to maximize for my PhD. And I am so excited! I feel like I have so much to do, and there’s no worry about procrastination or writer’s block or perfectionism, because it’s all right here, unfolding before me. And it’s fun. I have never had so much fun learning as I have been having with this project.If I were a L. Indra Luserohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07391556574763846748noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21881190.post-1144292099281214442006-04-05T19:52:00.000-07:002006-04-05T19:54:59.303-07:00I’m on such a role, all this learning is unfolding just so it becomes difficult to stay reflective about the process. I’m glad for the musical notation strategy I have, it provides a great visual – so I can look at the week and notice – I haven’t done any journaling! Or, I should try something creative next week, it’s been a while… So that’s what I do to strive for a certain balance and L. Indra Luserohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07391556574763846748noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21881190.post-1144134490339344912006-04-04T00:06:00.000-07:002006-04-04T00:08:10.350-07:00It’s one of those quieter moments… Last week was such an intense learning curve and so full of sensation and insight- I mean I was exploding with things crystallizing… The leadership talk with Sue and then applications of it in meeting with Andrew, and a Diversity Committee meeting… And then reading Ken Wilber’s "A Theory of Everything"…. Deep processing all night Sunday. Then this amazing L. Indra Luserohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07391556574763846748noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21881190.post-1143697984430599922006-03-29T21:50:00.000-08:002006-03-29T21:53:04.440-08:00“I want to the freedom to. . . fashion my own gods out of my entrails.” (Gloria Anzladua)Does the caterpillar learn to become a butterfly? Can the caterpillar NOT learn to become a butterfly?In that period of cocooning, where the caterpillar returns to primordial ooze and reassembles itself into an entirely different shape out of entirely the same substance, what happens to the caterpillar’s soulL. Indra Luserohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07391556574763846748noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21881190.post-1143616568473056222006-03-28T23:15:00.000-08:002006-03-28T23:16:08.483-08:00I am just reeling. I am so excited it’s like being in love. Which reminds me of a time I was falling in love and I actually saw the green in the trees differently. It’s like that. The way love changes your seeing, but not just in your eyes but your whole body. I learned so much yesterday I can almost feel the physiological changes that are taking place as a result. The sensation of love and L. Indra Luserohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07391556574763846748noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21881190.post-1143525163240800172006-03-27T21:50:00.000-08:002006-03-27T21:52:43.250-08:00A Monday evening. Cold and wet. Snowy. I feel like my sinuses are moldy. A few more days of this grey weather and I’ll start to have post-northwest-trauma disorder, believing that I won’t see the sun again for another 8 months or so. Similarly, my studies lack a certain lightness and zest this evening. Things feel heavy like the fog hanging low over the Denver skyline. Still, I have to remind L. Indra Luserohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07391556574763846748noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21881190.post-1143427094263113262006-03-26T18:37:00.000-08:002006-03-26T18:41:52.600-08:00I should write about time. So much has been happening with time. I know I wrote about some of it – the opening up that occurs from entering in, from naming… I found a quote from Thoreau today about time, “Time is the stream I go a fishin’ in…” Why is it so prevalent if so many for so long have seen it differently? Is it art only? Always?And all these elements. I admit I’m having trouble being L. Indra Luserohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07391556574763846748noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21881190.post-1142313706750570432006-03-13T21:18:00.000-08:002006-03-13T21:21:46.760-08:00I pause, even though I am in no lack of words or ideas, but because there is so much I’m not sure how to fit through the narrow gateway of beginning. Walking this afternoon I was thrilled to enjoy the new blossoms on the trees to match the blossoming of my new awareness of their names, crab apple, dutch elm, cherry, red bud. Mostly the soft pink pillows of the crab apple tree. Then right there inL. Indra Luserohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07391556574763846748noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21881190.post-1142137363855469612006-03-11T20:21:00.000-08:002006-03-11T20:22:43.863-08:00I have had a period of stagnation or something like that. It’s coincided with an emotional upheaval and creative writing outpouring. It’s seemed good and right, though a little scary. Just not much clarity or productivity or discernable action. Deep quietude.L. Indra Luserohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07391556574763846748noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21881190.post-1141913633363837952006-03-09T06:13:00.000-08:002006-03-09T06:16:17.926-08:00I tried to relax yesterday. Didn’t read or write anything. Sought zero mental stimulation. Found myself tormented by a repetitive tune that circled and circled in my mind. Desperate for a cure I gave in to reading and have been happily tune-free since. I do certainly suffer from Monkey Mind, but today it seems like, sometimes, the best gift you can give yourself is to let the monkey do what it L. Indra Luserohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07391556574763846748noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21881190.post-1141363997369710472006-03-02T21:32:00.000-08:002006-03-02T21:33:17.383-08:00Shit. I finish reading the introduction to bird by bird by anne lamott and I feel that seductive pull to write. My senses are piqued. My memories are vivid. My observations are lusty and tinged with pink. And then as I sit down in front of the blank screen, “Your computer may be at risk” a little bubble warns, and I think, “I am at risk,” feeling naked, and not seduced but hog tied and slippery L. Indra Luserohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07391556574763846748noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21881190.post-1140756851549759512006-02-23T20:52:00.000-08:002006-02-23T20:54:11.563-08:00Just experiencing the edges of myself, striving to see myself more clearly so I can then, maybe, see my way more clearly. Realizing that sense of my wisdom being long and deep and slow is so true (long and deep and slow interspersed with this great leaping intuition that just tortures me by seeing what I can’t yet know)… I think I have been practicing the tiniest elements of things – like L. Indra Luserohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07391556574763846748noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21881190.post-1140675140637774582006-02-22T22:11:00.000-08:002006-02-22T22:12:20.650-08:00Had some talks about spaces and reorganization today at work. It was a relief to have my coworker along for some balance, and reality checking, but in the end it left me with a gross feeling. I don’t know if it’s the specific interpersonal dynamic, communication style, a message from the universe that I shouldn’t pursue organizational leadership or what. I feel a little like I’m missing the mark L. Indra Luserohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07391556574763846748noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21881190.post-1139808056740771372006-02-12T21:19:00.000-08:002006-02-12T21:21:41.326-08:00Wouldn’t you know it. After those pained ruminations about chocolate and deep soul work, I read the perfect passage from Rumi. I’m serious, I just opened it up to THE perfect story. (Okay, knowing Rumi, he probably wrote at least a few things that would have been equally perfect, but still…) It was the story of the Sheik Playing with the Children, about a wise man who refused to apply his wisdom L. Indra Luserohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07391556574763846748noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21881190.post-1139473052915121302006-02-09T00:16:00.000-08:002006-02-09T00:17:32.916-08:00I ask the universe, the spirits, the whatever – who are my guides? What is the shape of my wisdom? Mostly I get silence. Mostly silence I think because when ego is asking, spirit doesn’t have much to say. Fortunately, ego is not alone, ego is not totally in charge so I get glimmers. And the glimmers say, “There is nothing you need to do” and the glimmers say, “You have your guides,” and then L. Indra Luserohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07391556574763846748noreply@blogger.com